Today Ira came back from conference. When I saw her in the morning, suddenly I realized how much I missed her, how strong is our connection and how much I felt this "lack of Ira" this week.

Our MC VP ER, our coach Manana finally came to visit our LC) That words which did she say on our LC meeting made me to look at our LC in a new way. Yes, I know that my term 08-09 was the best, we achieved ambitious goals, we got 2 national awards... and also I know that this term 09-10 they don't make any growth, even any sustainability... for them managing LC is a kind of fun and they are still that kids in kindergarden. That was a right reason why before elections I didn't send my LCP application, and I don't regret. Because the team you work with is a very important factor.

I don't want to be an alumni yet. I want to make great changes for our LC, I want to be an LCP or in MC abroad. And today seriously I thought about it again. But there is too many things why I can't do it just because of some conditions. Sometimes our "I want" don't match with our "I can":(

I came to dorm and with Sasha we watched a movie "The stroll". We started to watch it because the action is in St.Petersburg and both of us love this city too much!!) But I liked this film a lot! Then we were talking and talking for 3,5 hours... we discussed our relations, our friendship, at 1 a.m. we called Tanya and decided to meet tomorrow)) I love my dorm girls) It's a special life and I want to enjoy every moment of it. We discussed everything - personal, men, women, goals for life, memories... To talk the whole evening, to drink coffee with cigarettes... I like these special for me moments. Moments of emotional closeness. Warm and comfortable. There are not too much people with whom I can talk like this, open my soul and trust...

We talked about lots of things...

Love at first sight exists, real men who make first steps first exist, signs of destiny exist. And honest relationship without any tips and tricks also exist.

And I realized - all my haughty opinions and words to people who can't live without and depends on their "special someones", are going to be married or just dreaming about marriage - all these words for nothing! And for nothing I gibe at them and tell that "cooking dinners are coming soon", "in a wink you'll become a wife in a dressing gown" and etc. Maybe all this is THAT ONE actual love when you already don't want to go to the end of Earth, you don't want to rush and you're ready to sacrifice all your dreams or goals for this love? You're ready to sacrifice yourself for staying with that "special one", for "Mr.Big", and everything what do you want is just to dress up "dressing gown" and to go to cook dinners?

Maybe I just didn't feel it yet. And concessions, and waive your interests for someone... and meanwhile don't consider your "woman rights" as pinched?

Maybe all these things is a real love which I didn't experence yet?

Anyway it can happen with anyone of us) one day.

Little discoveries which make me review all my opinions are amazing every time. And at the same time they make me think: "omg! Maybe it's just ME? Maybe just I'm yielding?"

And one more conclusion we made today is that more stable relationship begin not with "random hot look" taken at someone, but at first with realization of emotional connection and dependence on this person.

Today was a definetely good day.