Nobody expected that something terrible can happen. Last time I felt shock like this 6 years ago. It's when you're walking on the street, but you just don't understand anything... you look around and don't understand, why there are so many people? where they're going? why?... they discuss something, think that they have real problems...but everything is so stupid. Some events make us think about meaning and valuety of life. Fuck((( you're shocked and you don't understand anything, you can't realize the situation... the only one thought was in my mind that morning: "Everything is not important, doesn't matter, it's just a bullshit". Everything except our life as a fact. We're alive!
I don't know how can I describe everything I'm feeling right now.. shock, scare, shivering... and I'm afraid of tomorrow((
it's so terrible - nobody remembers a person with good memories, good words... almost everybody just think not about a person, they think: "Well, how much money do we have right now?".
I came here today and I want everything to be finished as soon as possible! It's a nightmare! I don't believe it happened!!! It CAN NOT BE!
My dear grandma, you'll be in my heart and I'll love you anyway. I'm glad that you don't see what's going on here now( cause it's a real hell.

Oh God, I wish everyone just one thing - love and appreciate your life and love your close people. And let them know that you love them, it's very important - to know...(