Absolutely free day, just for myself. The whole day is a self-reflection about everything - past, present, future... My friends for today are piece of paper, pen and pastel. It's easier and more effective to imagine, visualize and draw things, than just to think about it.

A lot of reflection about AIESEC. Who am I now? I have full @ XP, but not alumni, I don't want to be an alumni yet. When I couldn't go to our local conference and facilitate there because of some external conditions, my mom said: "Calm down, they don't need you. Your time has passed". At that moment I was full of indignation. And understood - they'll never understand it. That AIESEC isn't an ordinary student club, that it isn't "just for fun", and it isn't for a couple months... AIESEC - is a half of life, you share your soul with things you do there, with all that people... it's more than just "one more stage during studentship". I'm thinking about plans for next term - what will I do? what will be my role? where will I be? what do I really want? and what I'm able to do for it?

And maybe all that values given us by society are wrong? That standart plan which I hate... The thing is that everytime you have to be responsible, and not just for yourself, but also for people who cares about you - at first your family and their expectations from you. My parents said: "When we'll see diploma of higher education in your hands we'll be unworried". And this is my responsibility - to study right here and right now. But of course your family always expects that you'll be so "good daughter", that you'll do everything as they teached you, as they expect from you. That you won't make them worry about you. But at the same time I have to say big "Thank you" to my family, because they support my ideas (almost all of them) if I say: "I'll be happy if I do that, it'll be better for me" and if my idea is real and won't bring any harm. This is true love. It's not egoism, it's love, they love me and respect my words.

And thanks God nowadays I don't have certain intentions. I have a lot of them, but still can't choose right. In other case I'd give up everything here and I could go to the end of Earth for my goals and dreams...

One thing definetely I know - is that my summer exams will be finished at the end of May-beginning of June. And I have to do my practice in some company before it. In that case I can be free from June till September. I want to do something with these 3 summer months :)

***

Movie "Memoirs of geisha" is great! All that 2 hours I was watching it without any break! Very beautiful, with deep meaning and philosophy... about striving, will, nobility, self-sacrificingness, dream and love. And it made me compare woman's role at that time there and nowadays - and image of today's woman isn't really attractive. I'd learn how to be like them - how to be an actress) Because the true wise woman is an actress, but not all women can do it. Any woman is a spring flower.

And one more thing I thought about during this film - is about my sister. I'll die if somebody tell me: "You won't see her anymore".

Take your mobile, call your family, hear their voices and value them. Right here, right now.