I feel like it's happening not with me, but with someone else.

Can't believe that now my life will be different. Different from my plans and expectations, dreams.

There is just one question in my mind: WHY?

It's just bad circumstances. It happened. No, it's not "just". It's important for me.

But anyway, I shouldn't let this situation make me down. It should make me think. Think about another opportunities during this fucking last year! Damn it. Think about another options for my future.

And as Saif said, there are no bad situations without good ones to follow. Yes. I'm trying to keep it in my mind for feeling better.

I'm surprised that I'm so calm now. No some strong emotions, nothing. I feel like I'm sleeping and it's just a nightmare, can't believe it's reality. I just don't feel anything... Numbness.

It is so cold. Middle of march. It's snowing and snowing. I like when the snow is falling at my hair. Just stand under the falling snow and listen to the silence.

When the spring come? When the warm shiny days come? When all the clouds melt? When the snow thaw? I'm tired of having constantly frozen hands...

Lack of sunshine, lack of smiles, lack of happiness around.

Everything will be fine. One day, I know.