Last night I saw nightmare - my wedding. Woke up in a cold sweat. No, thanks!

Just 2 lessons today, 5 points for doing a task and 1 tea with sugar between them.

2 job interviews for tomorrow (I'm sure that they'll disappoint me as always).

Turkish party. I was standing there in a dark hall and telling this public about my experience in Cyprus. When I'm talking about it, I feel that I'm sparkling and shining. But I was looking at their faces and I saw nothing. Stone grey faces. They became too choosy. They don't need a miracle and simple joy of life anymore. They need money, carnal desires and someone who will tell them: "I earned 1 mln USD! And you can do it too!". Capitalist society. At the end as always I asked: "Any questions?". Silence. No questions. Just these fixed faces. At that moment they seemed to me all the same. Like in advertisement Apple Macintosh "1984". And then I thought again: "They are really different. I want to come back to warm people in warm country."

And suddenly I saw Alisa - we studied in one school. She was so inspired, congratulated me with my success in Aiesec and she said: "I've just came back from USA and I wanna go to Czech Republic!!". We were talking about 30 min and I didn't see in her eyes a real motivation to develop her personality and get a professional experience through internship. She said quite honestly: "I wanna spend there my next summer". I remembered 2 ukrainian girls in Cyprus who usually went to the beach instead of university. For me it's offencive. But anyway we'll see.

Met Dana. I didn't see her since june! We had just about 10 minutes to talk. Things she said shocked me. What the hell is going on with us? We thought that we're grown ups, that we know what do we really want to do in this life, but NO! Now we want to choose extremely another things! I have to see her again and talk about it! Our situations are similar and maybe I'll find a solution for myself.

After this we went to turkish cafe "Antalya". Green tea with lemon and baklavaaaaa!! Masha came. I don't know why, but last time I don't like her. I just feel uncomfortable near this person. Especially if she close to me.

Sasha brought cards taro and mysteriously said: "They can help you to find an answer for your question". I don't believe in all these stuff like fortune-telling, card reading and etc. But I tried) Sooo... yes. It wasn't answer, but it was true. Exactly that details which are in my mind last 1,5-2 months. Now I almost know what should I do with this situation which came like a bolt from the blue.

My life is going with constant checking plane ticket prices, looking at picture on my desktop and questions in my head.

By the way I don't drink alcohol anymore. It's just somewhere inside. Just I don't want and don't see any meaning in it. And I smoke 3-4 sigarettes in a day. And even can't finish every single sigarette. It's not a pushing myself. It's "being-in-Cyprus" effect.

Yesterday again I went to bed at 2, but fell asleep just at 5. I thought that a country should be suitable for personal characterisics of each person. The way you grown up, your habits, upbringing, your worldview - with all this stuff you suppose to feel comfortable in your country. And when your characterisics and environment you live don't match - it means you didn't find YOUR PLACE yet. And just you don't have "it's mine!"-feeling. Like me.

A little bit philosophy as always)