Some days ago I thought: "This summer is gonna be great!". But today I realized - more than half of summer already passed. And everything is still the same, still complicated and every day is still a small challenge.

This summer I'm without my closest friends in the city. This summer I focused on work and self-development. Every day I make small discoveries - about people, about professional area, about myself, about work relationship and career.

Sometimes we don't appreciate things we have, after some time we forget about its importance and value. The same with me. In the morning I wake in terrible mood thinking: "Oh no, again!". I'm tired. But I'm trying to keep in memory that days when I just started to work, when I just passed interviews and how happy I was. When in the office I see foreigners or hear someone talking in English, I think: "A lot of people are dreaming about this job, about this company and opportunity". I'm trying to save that feeling of happines and gratitude that I'm here, in this place.

But maybe the only thing which makes me nervous is that I want my results to be valued, to be noticed. I want to be noticed myself. I want to get this job officially. I understand that now I'm just trainee and some people don't see me even if they are looking at me... I know that I have to make a push for being a star there. All the people working there are talented, and for being remarkable you have to be something more than you are. It's a challenge, day by day. Working in HR department I know that they hire people all around Russia, and not only Russia. They invite them and propose huge salaries to work for this company. They are ready to pay a lot of money to the best professionals. And I work with such people, and even know face to face some of them. I'm really proud to be there, cause I know how hard is to get a job in this company.

And a lot of people feel invisible at the beginning of the career, when they are just trainees, or assistants, or at starting positions. And I have just to overcome it, be patient and calm. And to try to be the best.

And one more point - even Russia is a man-country. This society used to think than man is the main, everywhere - in a family, on work, man-boss is a tradition and etc. I always thought that our country is changing, but no! In this society where men hold most of all top positions in the company, if you're a woman, you have to be super-super woman to be seen by them! I even don't know what should you do for being equial! Yes, they can accept that you near, but they can't take you seriously, and they can't take you to their close circle. So, if you want to be on the top, you have to be a little bit man inside. Plus female fascination:)

This world seems to be still world of men. And we're playing in this game with men rules. Well, I agree. And it's even more interesting.

This summer I spend like an ordinary inhabbitant of Ural - having weekends near lakes and rivers. Oh God, I'm trying to like this kind of rest( And when someone goes out of city to spend weekend somewhere near lake and says: "Oh, it's such a great rest! I love it, what can be better", I think: "Omg". The only one the best kind of rest I want in the summer - it's to be at the beach near SEA, not near lake! Where is my plane tickets yaa? Where is some wonderful sea with totally clean water? :(

This summer is like a hell - at least +25 every day. And average is +30. It's not normal for us:) feel like in bath.

But one though makes me feel better!) In january, after the last finals in university (last AT ALL!) I'll take 1-2 weeks and go somewhere. To where? First answer was: "Of course Cyprus!". But who knows). Or, if I'm very-very lucky, I'll go somewhere already for New Year) Can't wait to hold plane tickets in my hands again! This thought really warms my soul when I feel bad))